Belonging,
a miracle of birth
a soul to be

a land to stand
a place to breathe

a heart to love
a room to sleep

a hug too deep
an unending grief

a moment too long
a life too short,

I stay where I belong
I belong where I stay.

So holed up inside my brain,
I fail to gather my thoughts;
With conflicting arguments
racing all around
like a spiralling thread
that seems to have no start, no end.
In one of those spirals
is a strain of sanity
I try to hold on to
but it vanishes, as soon as I touch it
like a dog chasing its own tail.

I’d let the clouds engulf me
till the sun is a simmering red
and the night is upon us.
I’d use them as a blanket
to cover me comfortably
feeling I am not alone,
afraid to confront the truth.

I’d ask the night to bring the darkness
that’d surround me and hide the emptiness
As the night lures me to sleep,
I’d wish it takes away some pain
till the sun inevitably returns
and we restart the process.

The wait

Lighting a candle won’t help
because when I stepped inside
this dark room,
I asked others to lock the door
from outside
and a lack of escape
trumps
momentary relief.

So when I start to feel trapped,
do I plan an escape
or trust myself
to have made the right decision;
and then someday,
maybe a knock
would be my unravelling.

There are things you lose in the littlest of moments, never to get them back however hard you try; at times it’s a treasured item that you notice as missing, at other times, going unnoticed it’s your innocence

Waking up hastily
to flashing news
of humans failing
to save humanity;
watching from home
men in arms
wanting to protect
from impending revenge;
putting on clothes,
her favorite dress
and unlike her,
some sharp makeup,
thinking to herself
if today’s it,
atleast,
she’d die pretty.

© seekingmypeace

I still remember distinctly
sleeping with my ears on alert,
knowing that you are out there
and in all kinds of danger.
I remember opening my door
ten times in the night
and breathing an inaudible sigh
in pin drop silence outside.
Each time, over and over again
I learned that I could feel
helplessness and relief,
together in the same breath.

© seekingmypeace

Gaps

There are gaps,
everywhere,
so many of them
that my mind is searching
always
for where they came from.
It places them constantly
to my failures,
to my passions
because it fails to believe
that one person,
that I never even had
to begin with,
can leave so many potholes
in this shadowy dump
I call my heart.

© seekingmypeace

Randomness is my thing but when it comes to you, certainties are comforting. The ritual got broken today and I am as misplaced as a crayon between water colors, painting the sky, painting my world. © seekingmypeace

Dreams that wake me

The repercussions
of a disturbed sleep
are the dreams,
the ones you get
when you have woken once.
The thoughts that chase you
then
stay with you
and your dreams become
the alternate realities;
seeing your worst fears come true
and then waking up
with a sweaty forehead,
heart racing fast
is what my masochist heart
craves for ❤️

© seekingmypeace

As a person who is affected by very less things, I can’t do much when my mind and heart plot against me, except sit back and enjoy the horror show every morning.